Douche of the week – Rush Limbaugh

Mar 7, 2012 by

Well, well, it certainly has taken a while to get back to writing here on oddbloke.ca. As many of you know, the operator of this site, after having me vetted by the public, was ill for a while.

But seriously – I was a bit annoyed by the “What to do with Walt Kego” piece put up by R. What to do with me? If a bunch of whiny piss ants wanted to put me in a bag with Ann Coulter and shake it up and see who came out top – is this what R. would have done with me? I would like to point out that if I was ever put into a bag with Ann Coulter, she would certainly come out on top – I’m pretty sure she has a camel sack hanging there that would make any man wince in envy. But this little piece isn’t about Ann Coulter. Though as they say, an apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree: it is hard to mention this vicious, hate mongering douche’s name without the name Rush Limbaugh entering into the conversation.

Now this Rush Limbaugh fellow purportedly makes somewhere around 30 million dollars a year. I’m perplexed. I’ve met a number of Americans over the years, from New York, the Midwest, and straight on down to the left coast of California. Being who I am, a foul mouthed, ornery old son-of-bitch, one would naturally assume that it would be quite easy for someone like myself to attract folks who would proudly claim that they are big fans of this polarizing douche Limbaugh. But I haven’t and I really don’t know where to find them. Though I wasn’t honestly looking for such people to hang out with, and who would, really?

If anyone reading this article is a big fan of this cigar-chomping, prescription drug addict, college drop-out, please, by all means, tell us what it is you like about him. Inquiring minds want to know!

Honestly! Now there is a word that it pains me to even use in the same paragraph as this nemesis of truth and integrity. Before I go on I must confess something; however wrong my confession may be, I’m going to confess anyway. I find it very hard to believe that windbags like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and the likes of the flaming nostrils, Nancy Grace, are actually serious. Could they really be like that?

Could people (using the term “people” here quite liberally) who are this arrogant, hateful, ignorant, and quite often just fucking stupid, be for real? Just so I can have a little hope in the world, I’m going to try and tell myself that this collection of virulent douches are just greedy, unscrupulous, moral-free shock jocks who have tapped into a vein of hatred that runs through this world like STDs on a college campus. Will you let me have this bit of fantasy, even if it’s only until my mouth fills with a certain foul taste?

Quite rightly this limp-dicked, ultra-right, self-professed conservative, spreader of massive piles of fecal matter on the radio waves, could be considered for “Douche of the Decade,” but we will, for now, just nominate him for this issue of “Douche of the Week.”

By now all of you would have heard Rush Limbaugh’s latest glaring example of the dumbing-down of the American Public, with his comments on February 29th about the brave and dignified testimonial Sandra Fluke made to the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee in support of mandated health coverage for contraceptives. Limbaugh, sticking to his shtick of being a redneck in a $5000.00  suit, called Ms. Fluke such lovely epithets as a “slut”, “prostitute” and of course, “round-heeled” (the last expression alone shows that Limbaugh is still stuck in the same era as the Klu Klux Klan. Could it be he was once a member? I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if it ever came out).

But of course this speaker for the American Right, the Republicans, the god-fearing Christians (really?), just couldn’t stop there, no sir, and  continued with, “I’d like her to make sex tapes and post them online,” and then dully pondered like the barnyard ass he is, “Maybe she couldn’t afford contraceptives because she was having so much sex!”

Sitting here sifting through this pile of material I have, I see that in a 2008 TV Guide Limbaugh was selected as one of America’s top ten most fascinating people of the year. Did the other top ten ask to be removed from this list henceforth? As fascinating as what? This is a fascinating question indeed. I wondered, does the interest in Limbaugh arise from the same mentality of those interested in, say, that vile and insulting show known as “Jersey Shore”? Then I got thinking. As much as I find it hard to understand and respect anyone who would watch such a show, it dawned on me, much to the credit of those who watch shows like this, that even these people, if they were polled, – and I would bet Ann Coulter’s balls on it (easy for me) – if asked for one word to describe Rush Limbaugh, would say, you got it, “Douchebag.” You know this is really saying something.

We could go on forever mocking the awards that Limbaugh has been given, but one that really bothers me, and should bother Americans as well, whether you are of the Right or Left, is CPAC’s “Defender of the Constitution Award.” This is a document originally signed by the 6th President of the United States, one of the founding fathers – Benjamin Franklin: a polymath of distinction, an author, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman, musician – a major figure in the American Enlightment, and CPAC had the audacity to put this rednecked, hate-mongering, boor in the same class?! Even the dumbest, most gun toting, bible wielding, redneck in the U.S should understand that this is an insult to the very foundations and Founders of the American way of life.  I mean you could illustrate the idiocy of this with a box of crayons and a toddler’s colouring book. Pitting Rush Limbaugh’s intelligence against Ben Franklin’s would be no different than a putting a limp dick against a Quaker girl. You could take all the brains this guy has in the world and stuff them up the ass of an ant and it would be like putting a bean in a box car. Come on! Seventeen million people actually like this guy? It is at least a sign of hope that Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are at the very bottom of the list of America’s most liked celebrities.

What else is there to say? If those on the American Right continue to support this douche and if presidents such as Ronald Reagan and George Bush congratulate him and say he is a gift to the American Right, then there is not much hope for the American Right at all.

The corporations reining in their advertising dollars because of this latest Limbaugh gaffe apparently believe the rest of the world’s population is completely dense and naive. They actually think that we believe they are distancing themselves because Rush Limbaugh suddenly became a douchebag? Come on, Rush Limbaugh always has been and always will be a grade ‘A’ certifiable douchebag, just like all the other shock jocks that American media has created and allowed to flourish.

No one is fooled Rush – now go and crawl under a rock somewhere and never come back.

Walter Kego – pounding salt in Vancouver since 1995.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S MoveOn.Org gas started a online petition to remove Rush Limbaugh from the radio waves. If you feel strongly that it’s time to get rid of him. Here is the link to help show him the door and lets hope it does hit him on the ass on his way out.

Editor’s note: Ann Coulter came and stuffed Walter in a camel sack….. we’re working on a rescue plan.

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1 Comment

  1. camtra1

    Blog favourited. Well done sir.